Better/Worse

Better

The São Paulo Metro kicks the DC system directly in the stomach. Every ride is R $3 (US $1.29) regardless of how far you’re going or the time of day. Stations are clean, secure (for the most part) and have various shops and public restrooms.

The trains run every two to three minutes. You know the anxiety of swiping your ticket, boarding an escalator and then realizing your train is on the platform? In São Paulo, there’s no flinging yourself desperately down a flight of stairs trying to tumble into those idle open doors. If you don’t make this train, there will be another one momentarily.

This frequency also eliminates what I call the “Rosslyn problem,” where you end up tacking on an extra 15 minutes of travel waiting to transfer to a second line. Sampa keeps the rails rolling. You will get you there fast enough.

Worse

Brazilians know nothing about Mexican food. How can this be? Mexican food has been scientifically proven to be the best on Earth.

Dani and I made tacos tonight for some friends. It was the second time in a year that I made guacamole for a Brazilian older than me who had never tried it before. This is a country bursting at the seams with every ingredient in guacamole and yet the idea of mixing them together is some type of grand secret that only us from the North know.

By the way, everyone that I’ve made the guac for loves it. They love it in the same way any person with taste buds and common sense loves it. It’s a perfect food. Why is Brazil in the dark ages on this?

All that being said, a city of this size does have a handful of Mexican restaurants. I will try some soon and report back. I can tell you now, if I don’t see any Mexican owners, managers or employees, I’m going to be pissed.

Better

São Paulo’s shopping malls are flawless. This city is covered in graffiti and does about a D+ job at keeping trash off the street, but step inside a shopping mall and you are in a different galaxy.

They’ve got one here about every two miles. On the outside they are windowless and beige and uninviting. They look like one of those silos NASA stores its shuttles in.

Step inside and you feel like you’re on sacred ground. The stores are all trendy and well-manicured (I’ve never heard of 80% of them). People are happy and beautiful. The floors look like you could eat off them.

I’ve been to three malls in Sampa and all three would rank in the top 10 nicest malls I’ve ever been to. I don’t know what it is about this city and its malls, but they are proud of them and for good reason.

Fun fact: The Portuguese word for mall is “shopping.” There you go. Learning is fun.

Worse

You hate Verizon. You hate Comcast. You hate AT&T. You hate Time Warner. You hate Fios. You hate them all. Any phone/internet/tv provider in the US is horrible.

I can tell you, you’ve got it good. Telecom customer service reaches new lows here in Brazil.

One day after moving in—before I even left for Brazil—Dani ordered internet for us. The provider told her they would install it for us in the next 30 days.

Thirty days.

She called them a few days later and they narrowed it down to 10 days. Another phone call a day or two after and she learned that her order had been incorrectly taken. Had they hooked us up prior to that, it would have been for completely the wrong package.

Dani made a few more calls today. I listened to her in five minute rhythms say her name, her phone number, some fast spiel about our issue and then thirty seconds of silence as the person on the line directed her to a different number. She spoke to about six employees today, all from the same company.

Just before leaving the US, I called Verizon to make sure my phone was unlocked and I could buy a sim card down here. The guy on the other end was pleasant, fast and accommodating. I actually took that customer survey thing at the end because the experience was so good. I just wanted to tell someone about it. Is the US turning the corner on this issue?

Here in Brazil, I never realized I had it so good.