-Greeted at the airport by this young man:
-Immediately go to Five Guys, not home. There's no time. The first few meals are already selected. Five Guys for lunch on Sunday. Los Toltecos for dinner. Royal Thai on lunch for Monday. Ben and Jerry's after lunch--Cherry Garcia to start. Chadwick's $4 chicken quesadilla for dinner.
-Of everything above, the one that hit the hardest in the this-is-exactly-what-I-was-missing category was undoubtedly Five Guys. Absolute perfection. Ben and Jerry's takes second.
-Stars and Stripes forever taste like:
-Overwhelmed by the beauty and cleanliness around me. I realize immediately how accustomed I am to the graffiti-ed walls and littered streets of Sao Paulo. America looks like the future.
-Get to work immediately on all the things I have to do. Renting a tuxedo here instead of Brazil in order to save roughly $500 in rental fees per suit. It's outrageous there. The place I want to go is slammed. Leave. Go get haircut. Buy a shirt at Old Navy. It's Tax Free Weekend.
-Reach an awkward sort of breaking point while using the free wifi at a Starbuck's to make a call on my cell phone. Feel like I do not fit in anymore in this world. This was my place, but no longer. Brazil is just different in all respects and my brain has adjusted to it. That's reality now.
-Everyone is so good looking. They look upbeat, healthy and happy. Cheerfulness all around.
-Arrive back home. Don't think to turn on the AC.
-Drive a car for the first time in 5.5 months. Immediately start fooling with my cell phone. Difficult at first to deal with cars that are in front of me when I don't want them to be. I'm used to walking on busy sidewalks where you can just go around a person. It's the first time in my life I realize how limited driving is in comparison to walking. When you're walking, you're always calling the shots.
-Without a doubt, the drawback that catches my eye the most are the cop cars quietly crawling up and down the roads waiting for drivers to make a mistake so they can write a ticket. This feels inexcusably like bullying to me. In Brazil, police don't pull drivers over. They're constantly on guard trying to stop real crime. You can jaywalk right in front of them. You can pull your car onto the sidewalk to park while you run over to an ATM. It doesn't matter. That's not crime. I feel like I can do anything in Brazil as long as it doesn't involve drugs, guns or hurting someone else. Here, the idea of being penalized for going 57 in a 45 is outrageous. But you're the cops. Go stop criminals.
-See groups of old friends. So refreshing. It feels like no time has passed with any of them.
-English. Everywhere. Like deep breaths of pure oxygen into your lungs.
-Never remember to turn the AC on the first day. Wake up to a house that's about 77 degrees. Turn it to 75.
-Start to feel more at home.
-Return to the tuxedo rental place Monday morning. From the moment I walk in with no solid idea of what I want till the moment I leave with measurements taken, paperwork completed, deposit paid: One hour. No one cried. No champagne. None of my friends gave me their opinions. No photos taken. Just simple in and out. Take 20 steps away from a tuxedo and every one of them looks the same. Thank God I'm a man.
-Go to my office for the first time since February. The familiarity hits me in the lobby when I hear the elevator chime. Have to shake my arms to get the tension out.
-In a surreal move, return to my old desk (unoccupied at the moment), sit down just like I did in the past, open my laptop and go to work. Same guy across the hall from me as before. Same view out the window. The closest thing to time travel I've ever experienced.
-Happy hour out in Old Town Alexandria. From this familiar place to that one. Light Horse does karaoke now on Mondays. Sing "Wicked Game" by Chris Isaak to about five people. One person buys me a drink halfway through the song.
-Walk the quiet streets of Old Town by myself. More than ever before it looks like a movie set. Since returning, I have zero fear in America. Find myself looking over my shoulder constantly out of pure habit. Force my muscle memory to cooperate with my mood, which is at ease. I feel completely safe at every moment. My bag can sit unattended over there. It's okay if that door is unlocked. It's okay to walk past this stranger at night when there's no one else around. Crime is that thing that happens in far off places beyond the curvature of the horizon. It does not happen here.
-Board the Metro late in the evening. I'm the only one in my car. After years of living in DC this has only happened two or three times. The coincidence feels apt. In my 36 hours here, more than anything else, I'm feeling amazed at the sheer luck of it all. The enormous blessing that I used to incorrectly label as "life." The fact that I was born here and not anywhere else. 330 million out of six billion. And I made the cut. The game was over before my first step.
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