Done
Date
Church
Reception venue
Pastor
Translator
Food/Beverage
Photographer/Videographer
Order of ceremony
Hotel recommendation
Save the Dates
Dress
Not Done
Invitations
Cake/Bem Casados
Flowers
DJ
Music
Vows
Rings
Shuttle
My tux
I've been to two weddings in as many months here in Brazil. In general, they're not too different from back home. I've listed a few key differences below and how they will relate to our wedding.
1. Time
Of the two weddings I attended, one started 40 minutes late, the other 90 minutes late. I say "late" as I'm basing the printed start time versus the actual start time. But here in Brazil, "late" would not be a fair term. In both cases, no one was looking at their watch except me.
Brazilians, in general, are late. I've always been a hard stickler when it comes to time. I despise being late. I thought that moving here would create a lot of stress for me. That hasn't been the case. I've resigned myself to the culture from the beginning and haven't attempted to impose my American will on them. If anything, I'm more relaxed now. This past week, when Dani and I were still on our way to meet with a photographer ten minutes after the hour, I said, "Ah, it's Brazil. We're fine."
At our wedding: Time will be more of an issue. While starting on the minute is unrealistic (most people arrive 10-20 minutes after), there's no way we'll start more than 30 minutes late. We will communicate this through the grapevine beforehand. I can hear the Portuguese whispers now: "Make sure to show up on time. He's American."
2. Length
Brazil is about 90% Catholic and Catholics don't mind stretching things out a little. Both ceremonies I've been to were religious, but neither went more than about 30 minutes. From what I understand, an hour plus is normal here.
The real hours are logged at the reception. The first reception I went to got started around 10:30 pm. Dinner wasn't served until after midnight. The bride threw her bouquet at 3:00. Dani and I left the party early at 4:00.
When Brazilians go out, they go all night. Even for me it's too much to handle.
At our wedding: Our ceremony will be on the shorter side, but the fact that it will be translated aloud from English to Portuguese will fill things out. Our reception will conclude at the early hour of 1:00 am.
3. Did You Bring a Ring?
In America, the Ring Bearer wanders in early after the parade of Bridesmaids. Adults at the front then try to corral the cross-eyed kid into a chair where he'll hopefully stay for the remainder of the program.
Here in Brazil, the Ring Bearer is no where to be found early on. About halfway through the service, the leader asks, "Did you a bring a ring?" From the back of the room, trumpets ring out and the doors swing open once again. It's like there's another bride waiting in the wings. Really, it's just the Ring Bearer making his grand entrance and soaking up lots and lots of photos.
It's interesting to note that Ring Bearers here can be boys or girls. I don't think Flower Girl is as common a thing here.
At our wedding: Things will be much more American.
4. Flip Flops
Women wear uncomfortable shoes to weddings. That might slow a reception down and Brazilians can't have that. That's why women here usually get the gift of flip flops. They get them at the door of the reception, slip them on after dinner and then hit the dance floor. The flip flops are usually customized for the wedding with the bride/groom's names and/or some type of related photo.
At our wedding: We're ready for a flippin', floppin' good time.
5. Bem Casado
One cake is not enough for Brazilians. In addition to the main wedding cake, guests also take home a miniature cake called a Bem Casado. Each one is wrapped individually in a decorative tote case.
At our wedding: When I asked Dani my standard groom question, "Do we really need this?", I was informed this was a non-negotiable.
Cake to go, baby.
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